"I have faith in you." -Him

(My boyfriend.)

Why hello there everyone,it has been a very long break and I had my share of ups and downs since the holidays.It is both emotional yet very 'educational' in a sense.

There was a family crisis,or maybe a teeny tiny one and I won't happen to get another nephew or niece apparently.But apart from this,I think everyone worked hand in hand and gave each other the silent support that all of us needed and I don't think I have ever felt that kind of connection with my family and relatives.

It has been an indeed eventful holiday.

I have learnt a lot about myself and a lot more on the "what ifs".

Anyways,life has been generally great.I am trying to get to get back to my roots,religion wise.

I think its about time.I am trying to open up my heart and be more accepting to everything that is going on around me.I don't think spirituality should be messed around with.

I am not a saint,nor am I an insolent.

But these things takes time,I am hopeful that I would change for the better and my boyfriend does the same too.

Speaking of boyfriend,I haven't physically seen him for 5 days now.

Normally,I would sulk and be a proper bitch but I think its time I grow u and just keep reminding him I miss him.

He's been pretty sweet lately,and I don't know if its a cover for something he's done but lets all hope he's being genuine.

I had a conversation with my mom about my boyfriend and I think she has come to terms with my choice.With that being said,I informed the boyfriend and he said maybe she's given us her blessings.

Cause obviously,he has proved to my parents that he is able to take care of me and that he is a responsible man despite the fact that he can be a pain in my ass-neck.

But given more time,and after endless reminders,I am pretty sure that he would mature and become someone who respects me in his life,his mom and step dad,become a great brother and a caring friend to all.

I am done being all over him to show him I care,but that doesn't mean I stopped loving him.

I just don't want to shadow him anymore.

If he thinks I'm good enough,he wouldn't mind showing me off to his friends and hold me in public like he's afraid of losing me.

I think we're both scared,but Im not anymore.

I am just waiting for his flow..

He means everything to me but from now on,I'm going to do things his way.

If he is showing half as much of a concern or if he gives a fuck about us,I'll just copy him.

No point going the extra mile when the other party's only doing a quarter.

So,anyways..

A person from my childhood has secretly came back into my life! :D

He's asked me out for dinner when we're both free sometime and I actually agreed.

But I warned him,not as a date but as friends.

I reminded him that I am seeing someone and his reply was vague,

"well..does it even matter?Its just a date.." And his persistence is capturing.

I am scared of myself.

On my inability to control my messed up head-mind.hahaha.

I just hope I won't get drowned twice.

Besides,I already ave a boyfriend,right?

Ah well,till then.

Take care all.

Loves.Appreciate!

P.s:Maybe sometime this year,but you want to prove my friends you're better.