Wasted.

I can't fucking wait for my holidays;
A break,finally.
I'm done trying to concentrate in class when I keep falling asleep anyway.
But hey,the times I had in class this time round is kind of bitter sweet.
Everyone kind of got along and its surprising.
Enough of school,I'm not enjoying myself anywaybut thank God for my girls being around!
People come and go,I'm through with the phase.
If friendship lasts,Thank God! If not,fuck it.We need to move on,time wait for nobody.
If I want to talk about friendship,the only one I depend and rely on is the one I have with Monty.
No doubt she has broken my heart too many times,broken too many promises but its just hard to stay away from each other for too long.She is like my better half when I'm feeling like fuck.She slaps me hard with words on my reality and I do the same when she needs a shoulder to lean on.I think God created her for many reasons and one of them is to be there for me.
We have a love-hate friendship but I wouldn't know what to do if she is not present in my life.
So,well,my mom is coming back in a week's time.
I am ecstatic,at least there is someone to accompany me to sleep yet again.
I miss her so much!
So.lately,I have been thinking about the past time that has made me become the person I am today.The people I have met in life,the self-inflicted trouble I got myself into and the many times I refused to smile.
I miss the times when I go out with a friend or two and grab a beer,the times I kissed someone out of impulse-during a dare,the times I almost fought with a friend,the times I lost someone particularly close in my life.I am glad I have left those days way behind me,but sometimes,I can't refuse to miss it.
I miss the impulsive side of things,of life,of me.I think we shouldn't just let things come naturally,the rush is when you try and pursue something.
Besides,I can only live for so long,I don't want to pass on not doing the things I wanted to do.
I wish forever was a reality.
I don't want to degenerate too soon,I don't want to 'live' in memories of others.
I don't know where my senses are currently but I wish at this moment,I was invisble and I had the ability to fly and be wherever I want to be.
I miss myself more than anyone and I wish I loved myself a little more each day.
Its just not happening that way.
Well,I got to go and get ready to meet the boyfriend.
He's cranky today but I hope it won't ruin tonight.
Till then,while I find a piece of sanity for myself,
Take care.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:I want myself to extend a little but further than now.