Its mom's birthday.
Nothing is celebrated today.Dad's planned on a dinner day out tomorrow but I'm not sure if I can make it,We'll see how.
Upon mom's big day,I wish her all the well wishes there is in the world.She might have rubbed me the wrong way most times but I don't love her any lesser.I said a prayer I didn't thought I'd say but I'm not going to regret it,cause I am sincere.I love you mom,pops.
So,I went out running last night.
I even saw a fellow jogger who has long hair!But too bad he didn't grow his heard.
At first glance I thought he was Filipino,but upon further inspection and a couple of rounds around the area,I assume he's malay.He never stopped running,unlike me.haha.
I got home,stretched a whole lot and I felt 5cm taller instantly.haha.
Had a quick showered,supper and hopped on to bed by 4 in the morning,but I couldn't sleep.
I was hyper.I only managed to take a nap at 2plus in the afternoon and woke up less than an hour later.I'm still not sleepy,and I've not showered.
haha.
I spend my whole day at home today,doing nothing productive but got online and stare stupidly ahead.
As per normal,jerkass was around.
We debated about the most stupidest things.And sometimes I don't know why I even bothered entertaining.haha.
I usually give in most times too.If I couldn't get hold of him realistically,at least I know I could count on him when the times get rough someday in the future.Physically non-present,but I know he's always going to be there for me virtually.
Now,let me rant a little please:
You know,I told myself I can't afford to fall in love again.
I can only like or admire someone for so long.I am a pussy for being wanting to be committed.
I don't trust myself enough,there are too many things to choose from when you're tied down.
Thats what I've been thinking after Seb left.
Its selfish,but its the only way that works in my head.
Well,today,when you told me you found your "match",I don't know how you felt for her but I felt a tinge of jealousy sparked from within me.
Its strange that you're talking about someone else when almost a month now we've been talking about nothing but our individual lives.
I can't be falling in love with you,its not right.
I saw that such a day was going to come but I never thought that I'd get hurt in the same time.
Whatever happens,I wish I can have your presence till Sunday.
After that,I will be occupied with tons in my mind and you will be more and more of a vivid memory I can't erase.
I wish I had the balls to say what I feel.Sometimes.
I wish you well,I will be fine.I am going to let it go.
Love.Appreciate.
P.s:I just had my heart broken,but I am fine.
Nothing is celebrated today.Dad's planned on a dinner day out tomorrow but I'm not sure if I can make it,We'll see how.
Upon mom's big day,I wish her all the well wishes there is in the world.She might have rubbed me the wrong way most times but I don't love her any lesser.I said a prayer I didn't thought I'd say but I'm not going to regret it,cause I am sincere.I love you mom,pops.
So,I went out running last night.
I even saw a fellow jogger who has long hair!But too bad he didn't grow his heard.
At first glance I thought he was Filipino,but upon further inspection and a couple of rounds around the area,I assume he's malay.He never stopped running,unlike me.haha.
I got home,stretched a whole lot and I felt 5cm taller instantly.haha.
Had a quick showered,supper and hopped on to bed by 4 in the morning,but I couldn't sleep.
I was hyper.I only managed to take a nap at 2plus in the afternoon and woke up less than an hour later.I'm still not sleepy,and I've not showered.
haha.
I spend my whole day at home today,doing nothing productive but got online and stare stupidly ahead.
As per normal,jerkass was around.
We debated about the most stupidest things.And sometimes I don't know why I even bothered entertaining.haha.
I usually give in most times too.If I couldn't get hold of him realistically,at least I know I could count on him when the times get rough someday in the future.Physically non-present,but I know he's always going to be there for me virtually.
Now,let me rant a little please:
You know,I told myself I can't afford to fall in love again.
I can only like or admire someone for so long.I am a pussy for being wanting to be committed.
I don't trust myself enough,there are too many things to choose from when you're tied down.
Thats what I've been thinking after Seb left.
Its selfish,but its the only way that works in my head.
Well,today,when you told me you found your "match",I don't know how you felt for her but I felt a tinge of jealousy sparked from within me.
Its strange that you're talking about someone else when almost a month now we've been talking about nothing but our individual lives.
I can't be falling in love with you,its not right.
I saw that such a day was going to come but I never thought that I'd get hurt in the same time.
Whatever happens,I wish I can have your presence till Sunday.
After that,I will be occupied with tons in my mind and you will be more and more of a vivid memory I can't erase.
I wish I had the balls to say what I feel.Sometimes.
I wish you well,I will be fine.I am going to let it go.
Love.Appreciate.
P.s:I just had my heart broken,but I am fine.
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