I got the bug.

Days went by and it seems pretty good truth be told.
Better than those other days we call history now.
I am still thinking about my own failure and I am still deep in thoughts about it,but maybe,I lost an opportunity which may not turn out to be a good thing anyway.
I am trying to think positive,but I don't need to hear the name-words which have caused me such disappointment.
But within those days too,a friend called me up being vulnerable as she can be.
I questioned her sadness and cut in between while she was talking,genuinely wanting to share my thoughts but I got an earful of cuss words in return.Afraid that she might do something stupid which she is capable of,I choke back on my tears and stayed close on the phone with her.I feared for the worst and I thank God cause whatever God did,God made her safe.
I feel terrible cause I couldn't help but listen and listen some more.Obviously,I didn't know her well enough to be aware that she is never the person I thought she was.
I hope she is doing ok somehow,I hope she will not make a decision which is going to destroy somebody else's life.
I hope she makes it up to everyone affected,truly.
So,I am feeling under the weather.I woke up this afternoon feeling as though a huge rock had just hit me in the head,it is pounding as I'm typing.
It is probably the pressure of my snort building up.
My nose won't stop running and I sneezed six times in a row.I always wonder why I get sick when the exams are near.haha.
Exam bug is infectious indeed.
And today,I told a white lie because I couldn't handle my own flaws.Hence,I made another mistake again but I was given a "maybe next time.." so I'll be hopeful and wish for the best.
I should just suck it up and meet my possible soul mate and venture out in the world I've left behind since two fucking years ago.I'm too afraid,still too hurt I suppose.
Its not that I don't want to,but I feel like other girls are much more worthier than I am.
I don't want to waste anybody's time and embarrass them.
I am such a loser.haha.
Ah well,I need to go get some rest.
My eyes are hot,my snort is flowing out and my temperature is probably rising.
Monday,I don't wish to come to school.I know its still a Saturday but thinking that far makes my head hurt more.
Need you want anything,give me a text.I'll be at home rotting.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:Why can't you just be content before the worst hits you in the face?