Cussing my way through

Tired,down and grumpy.
Been feeling tons of shits lately its getting kind of over whelming.
I met Mari two days ago and I vent a little out on her,I'm glad she's still around and is still able to meet me despite the start of fucking CP.I told her about the people around me giving me a not so good time and just the frequent shnit bits.
And last night,I met Monty.
I'm also glad she's still around,not moving anywhere further where she is suppose to be yet.
I received a news and its a not so good one.I don't know if I should worry yet,but its making me nervous thinking about how serious it could get and affect my life.
*sighs.*
Well,I just need to let this out so here we go;
First and for most,
Just because I don't act like you,it doesn't mean I'm weird.
It just means I'm a little different.
Just because I'm quiet,It doesn't mean I'm angry or not in the mood.
I just don't feel like talking much.
Just because I generally don't react to whatever you say or do to me,doesn't mean I don't have feelings.
I just think its a waste of time entertaining silly maggots like you.
And please,Don't try and start walking all over me cause I'm not letting you and I'll give you a piece of my mind.
I will shoot my mouth and confront you like a dagger till you will try and divert my intensity to something else.
Seriously,Don't fucking push me.Period.
And despite having bigger physique than you do,having more hair and acting more of a doofus at most times doesn't make me a guy.
I don't paint my nails,show my boobs unnecessarily and flirt doesn't mean I'm gay-lesbian.
I don't see a point of making someone like me for my appearance,cause within time,we will change eventually to something old,ancient and droopy.
And for the love of Cheese-us!
I am having a hard time within myself as it is that I won't think twice about giving you a punch in the nose.
There.I've said it.
People is taking me for granted nowadays.I know how being sensitive and being overly pushed around feels like.I know how to differentiate,yes.
Of course I wish I was someone else,something better and more stronger but I am made to be me,What the fuck can I do about it?
AND;
You are not helping at all.All you think about is your sorry self and I wish I didn't even know you!You make me feel like shit at times like this and you always try and make me feel worthless and you are the one I should be sorry for.Give me a break!For the pass couple of months/years,never have I ever heard you say a good thing bout yourself so don't go about judging how beautiful mine is all the time.
I feel like I don't know you anymore..
You are fucking with me and I want to tell you in the face about how I feel about you,about the whole damn thing between us and the damage you've done to me but I will be the bad one.The insensitive son of a bitch and you'll live your whole miserable life blaming me for a bad start of 2010!
*sighs heavily*
I want to cry,but I have lost my ability to since December 5th 09'.
I listen to sad songs and its not helping.I listen to happy songs,it makes me miserable.
I hope this is the hormones talking.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
I hope tomorrow I still live.
I hope tomorrow everything disappears.
Its about letting go anyway.
I will have to be fine!
Its a Friday.Its going to be a good day.
Cheers.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:I miss you so much I can't believe its starting to develop hate.