Reluctant as can be to agree.

Last two nights I was fucked.
True enough,it was the hormones cause yesterday,despite the fucking monthly cramps,I didn't have quite a bad time.My emotions was in control.
And yesterday marks the last day of my posting at ward 47.It kind of sucks.
Even one of the EN agreed,despite asking me to treat him ice-kachang.lol.
He said that ward 47 is a ward where all the cases come to and it was true!
But anyways,If I were to work as a nurse,I'll try and get into a ward just like that.
Well,the weekend is here finally.A week of posting went by so fast and I have not signed any required skills yet.
I miss Ms Chng.How she hassle us to quickly complete the necessary skills.
Ms Tan is not so bad either.But yeah whatever.
So,
I've been randomly asked out.I want to go out with this person cause it really has been a while,but I'm too self-conscious.
"Am I too fat,big and ugly?Hows my fucking hair?Is there a new zit popping out?Fuck.Should have kept the oil under control!Is my fats protruding through my bra straps?"
That kind of shit.
We were talking about watching people and the clouds,and that is what we're going to do if we meet apparently.He's asked me casually "When and where?" and I'm like "I thought you're kidding about this!" And he said "Nah..sounds like fun ..so why not?".
hahaha.
Well wish me luck anyway.
If I do meet this person,than good for me I suppose.Just got to watch the weight now.
*winks winks*
Anyways,
Couple of days ago,I received a message from Seb on FB.Well,I sent him one before,with tons of sad faces and he replied with stupid question marks.And I couldn't be bothered replying and suddenly,he's like "I'll explain to you once I'm sober." and here I am,thinking when the fuck is he ever sober ever since we were through.And what is there to explain?
It pissed me off thinking about the state he is in right about now,what he is actually doing to himself.How it is actually affecting me,how I actually still fucking care.He doesn't know all that cause I never verbalize that to him,but I'm sure,deep down,if he ask his self conscience,the person who ever cared truly for his well being was me.I know how he is actually having gabazillions of fun at the moment,but give me a break,we're both nineteen this year and he's got mugs to finish.
Shit.-.-
I hope he wakes up.Its cool to have tons of laughs with buds and sorts,but IF it is actually happening everyday,gathering over warm fires and tons of booze,I wish that would stop.I would have given him a tongue lashing lecture if he was still in Singapore.
And sometimes I still think he was actually here with me,like how I feel for my late uncle who has forever left the whole lot of my family members and relatives a little past over a month now..
I don't know what is actually going to happen to myself if I keep worrying for someone who never bothered trying to understand the way I think.I don't actually think I deserve a little bit of gratitude anyway.
But hey!
Living is great as it is.
I will try to make it seem a little more fun to dread anyway.
And if I actually gain enough courage to meet this person who asked me out,I'm going to tell him everything about whats going on in my life.
Just so he knows what I am all about and how different I am(obviously) from other girls.
Maybe.
Lol.
So till then my lovely earthlings.
Take care.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:If its the end of me,its full stop for you.