My eyes are burning,my guts are spilling and I can't make myself eat as much as before.
I am not too sure why.
I feel hungry,but when i smell or see food,i become extremely full again.
My mind is not where it is suppose to be,i am not concentrating.
David said I am probably stressed.
Likely,but I don't fret them stuffs and get self-obsessed with problems.
Its eating inside of me,and as we speak-or as I'm typing,my chest is tightening.
I am trying hard to look after myself but I can't eat,much.
Maybe fruits would help.I'll try that tomorrow.
Anyways,today i was an hour late for class.
My class advisor got pissed with me cause i left her class without saying a word,
i mean i told her before-hand.
So now,she is going to refer me to some authority person tomorrow.
My conduct equals to zilch now!
I was late twice in the same month,don't stuffs like that happen?
First incident-I was feeling shitty-shitty but figured school is important and tried making it till the end of the day and survived it.
Second incident,today-I over-slept.How would i know i was going to be late?
The thing is,i don't care about anything else but to sit for my exams.
I don't want to get debarred.
At least make it reasonable,suspend me from school for a couple of days this week,I won't get too bummed but please,let me sit for my exams.
I told mom about it,she laughed it off.She said not to worry and try to agree with whatever the authority person has got to say and just try to look sorry though she knows so well I can't be that way.
Exam and owning it is my only way to make my parents proud of me and than i can get my ass to paramedics and live life happily ever after,or not.
Whatever the verdict is,i seek you guy's prayers for me to be able to sit for my bloody exams.
*sighs*
At times like this,all alone at home,listening to a band i just heard of on youtube gives me a little comfort at least.I need more feelings of such..
You know,most times i feel like running so far beyond whatever thats stopping me in this life but i hate the second voices telling me that there will be consequences.
I hate the fact that life is so unpredictable especially at such world and time we are in,and it makes me want to try and experience certain things a lot more though i know tomorrow will never be there for me anymore.
After all,you only live once,don't we?
The more i feel the urge to run,the more i stop myself cause i've seen people around me messed up their lives because of stupid mistakes though i constantly tell myself-At least they tried it.
If i ever had to die one day,
i want to look back in my living days nodding to the things i did because i want to and i accepted my actions for it.I want my living days to be remembered by friends,family and others.I want them all to know i loved them for who they are and what they have made me become.
Life is good,living in it is dreadful.
Nevertheless,pressing on is essential.
Things only go wrong cause we doubt ourselves.Regrets makes it worse.
So without further trying to complicate your tender brains,I better sign off with a goodbye.
Take care homosapiens,
and hate for a short while,love to the extreme and remember to always say "I love you" and mean it for the next moment will be uncertainties.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:I look at you and i always feel like crying..
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