crashing soon.

Something's just not quite right.
I let my mind wander and it won't come back.
For the past couple of days,i got irritated easily.
i don't feel like talking to anyone,looking at anyone.
than the fucking voices starts getting louder and louder.
when things get so intense within myself,i feel like punching someone in the nose and let it break and bleed.
i am quite aggravated,i can't stand stupid remarks and i am easily annoyed.
than it gets a lot worst cause theres shit loads of stuffs to finish.
first theres fucking tests after tests at such short notices,than theres projects after projects.
i am trying to keep my calm,but i fail.i let myself down so many times now.
i feel like such a loser.
Today,i got caught with the same authority person in school again.
but this time,i'm not alone.
Mari Zee and I was waiting for Far outside the lab and the three of us got caught.
the first thing which popped into mind was "I'm never going to make it to Medan."
cause my conduct has obviously gone down the drain.But i don't know anymore.
I'll just have to see what my class advisor has to say or decide.
Things are happening so fast all around me that it starts to get really overwhelming.
i'm happy for the change but i feel rushed and i don't like it.
And as for now,people all around me are not really helping.
I know how i refuse to share whats going on in my head but please,
act wisely,say the right things.
I would have held your hands and called you clean but now i find you filthy.
I would have listened to you and called you soothing but now i find you noisy.
Cheesus.
It would be really dandy right now if i could hang out at lavender smoking my lungs out just watching the sky turn from blue to black,accompanied by alcohol and at a perfect location.
Sometimes,all i really need is a warm,long meaningful hug from you like how i used to get..
now,we're million of miles apart and all that is left is your smile in my heart.
fucked up,bruised and down.
not planning to get back up in the Short run.
i need time.
friends,im deeply sorry.
take care,
Love,Appreciate!