Stolen words.

Its Monday again.
Its quite late.7 minutes to 12 as i'm blogging now.
Time pass by us so fast.
My second brother's getting married this weekend.
Now the term soon has its literal meaning stamped on my brain.
Tomorrow marks a week of Panjang's death too.
And soon,he'll be forgotten.
But i don't want to forget,he will be in my dear book called memory.
Always there.
I was in the afternoon shift today.Time seems to fly by my shoulders.I don't know what i was doing.But,i remembered just staring at this particular patient.Like what i told Fiza,he reminds me of some symbolic history figure.lol.But,its his ways which captured my attention.
I had a "moment" with a doctor today.It was funny.They thought i was experienced and told me to execute certain medical treatment for some patient and I'm like staring at them with the information going "woosh" across my head and i replied "I'll inform the Staff Nurse.I'm a student EN."
The doctor just smiled and nodded.Hahaha.
And,by the way,did i inform "you" that i have chopped off more/most of my hair?
This is the shortest i have ever gone by far.There was even a need for the hair-dresser to use a shaver.And yes,i've got comments like "You look like a dude now!"
But who cares?Hair grows.hahahaa.
Wound heals but scar remains.Chey.Feeling-feeling philosophical lagi.
*sighs*
I don't feel like hanging in there anymore.This rope i'm holding on to is giving way.It might snap any time now.There is this enormous weight i'm carrying on my shoulder.
The problem is,i don't know what it is.There is just this unexplainable feeling.I don't feel good.
I hope it goes away soon.
By the way,couple of days ago,i was so upset with David i could hang myself upside down.
He was so insensitive about what happened to Panjang and i broke down crying in front of my computer.I guess he showed me his true colours.I understand that he could be so honest with his opinions but,spare some of those who is still grieving over a loss,a break.
I wouldn't want to share it on here because i find it so hurtful to even recall it back.
Jeez.
When i think back about what happened to Panjang,
i feel like i owe those around me an apology.
For the jerk i have been all these while.
I know i am so hard to be understood.
I don't blame you all.I get myself confused too,a lot.
Sometimes,i feel like I am not my own person,it feels like i am someone else.
I feel like i haven't said how much i love you,my friends before.
And i really mean it when i do say it.
I feel like i haven't emphasize enough about asking you guys to take care because I am always so looking forward to when we will all gather and meet again.
I don't want to be a little too late.
Hrmmnn.
I'm such a sucker lately.
Its crazy whats going on in my head.
Ah well,I'm going now.
Take care.
Love,Appreciate!