Trust yourself with hope,faith and love.Things works out one way or another,eventually.



Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Euphoria.

I spent the whole day out with Salahutdin on Monday.
It was really nice.
We went to East Coast to cycle.
Watched the people wake board and than we headed to the jetty to watch people fish.
I didn't know there was plenty of fishes,like literally,A LOT under the jetty.Small fishes but really,it looked like dirt if Din hadn't told me about it.
Our bicycle rental was for two hours but we returned it half an hour earlier cause our butts was aching.haha!
After which,we headed to his aunt's place.
He had to fix something,got something done and had dinner.
I don't know why,but every time I go out with people of the opposite sex that I care about,I tend to be full after a few mouthfuls.And Din goes on making noises about not eating right and I wish he knew how I felt.
I am inexpressive when it comes to romantic situations,I get tongue tied.Unlike with the few best friends I have,where I can tell them everything.
Anyways,the day spent was awfully tiring.I slept 3/4 of the time I was on the bus home and I probably drooled on Din's shirt.hahahahaa!
So...
Din is more than what I expect him to be.Sure we have our petty little fights but at the end of the day,I am sure I want him to be a part of me some day.
I really hope my family can accept,and probably can see what I see in him.
He's made me a more happier person since donkey years ago and I am so grateful I finally met, perhaps,one of the most amazing man in my whole entire life.
As cheesy as this may sound,and being afraid of commitments as I maybe,I feel like I am willing to try and embark on something on a whole new level with Din.
Theres the constant communication,and he knows how to calm my insecurities,how to make me feel safe and protected.
I don't understand how he can accept my flaws that I'm battling against.Nevertheless,I guess its God's way of saying I can't hate myself too much that I won't let another person love me.
With that being said,I will try my best to divert my attention to the only man whose able to make me feel again.I will try to appreciate him as much as I possibly can.
I quote again,I WILL TRY. hahaha.
Anyways,I just got off from talking to Jerkass.
Webcamming again of course.hahaha.
He was being a fuckhead as per normal,hahahahaha. I enjoy almost every conversation we had,mostly cause its familiar,and comfortable.Not to mention,stupid.
He's all stressed out overseas and apparently,homesick.
hahahaha.
Well,good news is,he's going to come back next week,than maybe I can go meet him up so he can pass me my well awaited...
duit raya! :D
*sighs deeply*
I can't let him distract the situation I'm currently in.I am better than that,I hope.
Ah well anyways, and I miss that fat kid,my nephew. :C
Zafran..
How he sleeps in my arms against my bosom,how he snores and farts in his sleep,how he smells under the pit of his arms,how I have to change his diaper..
I hope to see him soon!
Well,thats all I got for now,will blog soon.
Love.Appreciate!
P.s:I want you in me.Move me.

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