Rolling with Polly.

I think I screwed up my principles.
But,what a night!
I met Din again,wakakakakakaka.
Thank you for the surprising night,har har har.
I appreciate you for not buying me anything,and fishing is on baby.wahahaha!
The intensity is building up but I am just going with the flow.I have no idea what my feelings are doing.
Its not collaborating much with my head,so I can't understand it.
Its back to how it was when Seb and I were together.

Oh and today is my 19th.
Happy birthday to me.
Everytime I get older,I tend to lose something and I lost it already.
I lost someone I grew fond of initially,and the bittersweet part is,we're still talking.
I wish I had the guts to tell him how much he means to me,but slowly,the remains of what was felt in the beginning are perishing.
It is sad but I guess God has his reasons why someone else is there to be there for me instead.
Am I content,very much indeed. Its been quite a while and without being in a relationship,I have already experience the nagging responsibility of being committed.
Its a hard process and I need some adaptability to be comfortable.

I ask for nothing but I wish I could live a little more longer each day.If there is a pause button in life,I would have pressed on it long ago.I need time to slow down,it is scaring the shit out of me.
There is so many things to think about,to do,but so limited time.
Mom has agreed for me to undergo a full medical body check up,just to be sure.
I can't wait,I need my mind to be clutter free from worrying about myself.I got my family and friends to look out for.
And baby Zafran,I miss you so so much.I can't wait for you,daddy and your mommy to sleep over soon.You're going to get smothered by me and hopefully,when you grow older,you will remember who I was.
I love you so much you little thing,you bundle of joy.

With things going my way,being in place,things being great in the ward,and skills being done at the second week,I am glad that finally,after a long time,my anxiety is not killing me.
Till next time,with plenty of cigarettes left to be finished,I will log out feeling great.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a a great day at work.
Must have faith,must keep faith.
Take care all,if you haven't heard it much from me yet,I love you.
Love.Appreciate.
P.s:I whispered for "you" and God sent me you,even for a little while,I am content.