I'm not sleepy yet.
As per normal,my stomach is feeling like its being tied in a knot.
I feel slightly off-ish but glad all at the same time.
I can't be bothered to state out my reasons but for those who knows,shut up and keep it to yourself.har har har.
I will greatly appreciate it if you do,please.You're doing a big favour for me if you zip it and stop making me feel like a dumb shit that I already am.haha.
Well,on the wee hours of Tuesday morning,I spent it till sun rise with my beloved Edd.
We talked and discussed about life's pains and miseries together,it was a good catching up session but truthfully,it wasn't enough though we spent approximately about 6 hours doing nothing but talk,stare at the sky,made a nuisance at the playground by laughing to our heart's content and enjoying each other's presence.
I love you Edd,I miss you tons too! haha.
Remember what I told you ok? Ignorance is bliss.Sometimes.
Why sometimes? Because most often than not,we just want to know why certain things have to happen and we need a solution to the problem.But maybe,the problem didn't start with us though the usual is,we doubt our self more than we do to others.
I'm advising myself in this post too.haha.
For the love of God,I'm listening to Miley Cyrus's "when I look at you" -.-
har har har!
A nice melodic tune,a perfect match for this aching soul.Chey! Har har har.
I'm being stupid,this like-love cloud is over-empowering my psychological status.
What the fuck am I talking about?hahaha.
I know how I'm prone to being all over a guy(nobody in particular,generally speaking) and thinking "I might have liked him after Seb" moments but who was I kidding?
They are normal infatuations.A crush.
But this time,I think I might have hit it home.
I swear this time I mean it-I could have been more original with the phrase for I took it from the song title by Mayday Parade but thats not the point,haha.
The point is,I think my feelings this time is genuine.
Never in my whole entire life did I thought the purposeful insults and judgemental hate could be so intriguing and surprisingly sexy after days of the particular "event" mentioned.BAHAHAHA!
Because when both of us are finally serious enough,I thought we had a lot in common.
I like the way he thinks,independent-selfish,goal-oriented and surprisingly witty.
He took my breath away literally when he said something and meant it,but eventually he says he was joking all the while and he could've talked about that particular thing for maybe a good half an hour.
I am impressed how a jerk like him could do so much to me.Emotionally.
I can't believe it myself,cause usually,I don't even bother to carry on speaking to such people.
But I got to keep our space,he needs it more than I do.I see how things works in his head.
I don't want to be clingy so I'm stepping back and unfortunately,his name is etched in my heart.
This is a gay post cause here I am trying to express my secret admiration for a jerk I personally,barely(maybe) know.
I am going to try and forget that I even know him.I want to enjoy my holidays as much as I could,I don't want him to dampen my spirits.Its pretty messed up the way it is.haha.
Well,anyways,yesterday I went to Karaoke with Monty,Syahid,Abang Wan and his friend.
The car ride is exhilarating.Killer speed and wind in the face effect was refreshing! har har har
I was being a pussy cause I refused to sing,I sang like half a song but couldn't continue cause "pitching lari" hahaha! And I was too embarrassed with the company I was with.
But it was a brilliant day out.
And Ridhwan,eat regularly,text me PROPERLY when you're finally free from being outfield and yes,I miss you too ok.Don't get the signal wrong uh.har har har!
;)
Till then my lovely earthlings.
Love.Appreciate.
P.s:I bet you made yourself disappear,but its Brazil and North Korea today! We'll see and find out.I am curious if its been mutual all along.
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