What am I thinking?

I don't know what else I'm waiting for.
I'm hanging on to memories which has long never meant anything anyway.
I am secretly hoping,secretly praying each god damn fucking night for things to be the way it was back then.
Underneath the darkest of sky decorated by clumps of stars just lying down with each other side by side and taking it all in.
With whispering voices,afraid as though someone would listen to our silly conversations.
I listen to songs and relate them to the past.
I think and shed a silent tear.
I am gone.You are gone.What makes us now?
Why do I still give a shit about anything reminding me of you?
I would be lying if I don't care about you anymore.Cause I still do.To what extent,I am still figuring that one out.
Once again,you're being carried away to things that intrigues you and I'm lost in your self amusement.Where do I stand in your life if I even exist in your head or heart at all.
I don't think anyone can replace you with what you have given me.
I miss you,myself,us.
I have given up half of myself when we were through.