Detangled dangle.

My first day in a new ward,a surgical ward.
Its quite a mellow spot.
Nothing too drastic yet,its adaptable i guess.
And to my ever dearest B!,
Keep pressing forward.I'm here to lend you my shoulder.I love you even if the love of your life don't anymore!
So,today,i learnt something about myself.
Apparently,my lecturer told me that i had a snobbish side in me.
Its the way i look.
She told me that i was too composed be it in a stressful or calm situation that its hard for her to read me.
I was said to be too reserved too.
In conclusion,i was a slow and steady person and my lecturer told me,with the best interest at heart that i need to change.
I got a bad grade,a D.
Some friends gave me some perk me up talks but i wasn't depressed or anything about my grade.I expected it.
I'm not a super on person,i realize that from the very beginning when i figured out how life works but that doesn't mean i don't care for my patients any lesser.
Well,anyways.I am still thinking about "the other route".
I keep telling myself that this life I'm living is a fucking short one and I want to be doing what i want before i die.
I don't want to lie to myself.Its not that i don't like this medical profession that I am in,but its not a healthy place for me.I get attached to people,emotionally.
So,when people pass on,a piece of me crumbles and it falls off with them.
I can't let go.Look at what a mess i became because of July 14th incident.
Nevertheless,i can't make my decision deliberately.I need to scrutinize my option and squeeze out some brain juice to really make a proper decision.
I will have to hold on a little bit longer.Just a little bit more.
Anywho,I met up with Farah J last night,she gave me a box of chocolate from Bubu and she got me some aroma incense thingy.
The kids were brilliant and loud and her cats are over grown already.
Her dad seems good but its too bad her mom weren't around.
I missed them so much.they are like my third family.
Its too bad we are in different worlds at the current moment.
But i hope we remain friends.Till the end.
With that said,i hope you guys take care.
I miss all my friends so much,its beyond words explainable.
Love,Appreciate!