walking the thin line.

Thank God its over.
haha
I would like to think that my brother's wedding went well.
I hardly did anything.I was a fucktard the whole time.I didn't know what was wrong with me.
I found my relatives annoying last weekend,sorry.They were over-whelming me with so much of inappropriate stress that it pissed me off.
I'm so glad i had Nana along side me the whole time or i would have a massive break down.
A couple of my friends came down,and i thank you guys so much for the great effort.Its deeply appreciated from me and my family.
My girlies came and i was so excited!
Mari,Far and Zee!Not forgetting Peq and Dan.
They even got me belated gifts and its the best kinds ever!
Its the things i love and would use so once again,thank you babes!
I love all of you.
Monty,thanks for coming down with your brother and friend.
Farah,I'm sorry i didn't get to see you and Bubu.
Naddy,you too,
Mai,Kay and Yat came down too.
Mai and Kay said that my family dedicated one session of the time to celebrate my belated 18th and they were singing happy birthday out loud for my bother,me,my uncle,my sister cousin but unfortunately i was not around :(
haha.
When my other friends left,Mai and Yat hang around to slack with Nana and I after the wedding.
Mai sang me a lot of songs,and her expressions made me L-O-L.
Yat was acting all weird on me.
He kept smiling at me,kept staring,kept winking,kept blowing me air kisses, its freaking me out!
He was upset that i chopped of my hair.lol.
He kept telling me to go for hair extensions and I'm like WTF.
i've not seen him in like,2 months? haha.
And somehow,we're texting each other now.lol.
He's using the letter usage of "I" and "U" and I'm like,"Errr."
hahaha.
Anyways.
This morning i got up late,and I'm so glad i made it to work on time.
Alia asked me about Panjang at the ward today and its funny how the hurt is still there.
I thought i was well over it.I guess,not yet.
He has left us all 2 weeks now already.How fast time pass us by.
He is possibly off the pacific ocean by now.and the process goes round the globe.
Sighs.
I still want a long warm hug.I got multiples of almost bone(ribs) breaking hugs and wet kisses from my girlfriends,but THAT long warm hug is not yet achieved.
I want comfort,i want to snuggle up under someone's chin.breathe and be assured that everything will be ok again.Seb and I used to do that a lot and i miss it now.
Bleargh.
Its too bad i don't feel any desire to like anyone anymore right now.haha.
No,i'm not turning Gay,
i just don't know why i don't feel like liking anyone anymore,or yet.
I want a boyfriend,but i don't like the idea of being tied down.I want a boyfriend but i feel happy without one but sometimes it gets weird hanging out with friends who bring their boyfriends and you're the odd one out.
But hey!I won't rush it.
If it happens,it happens.
amen.
So take care,
Love,Appreciate!