I am a nervous wreck at this bloody moment.
I am having this jitterbug feeling on my toes and wriggly fallanges(sceintific term for fingers).haha.
I am up and about and i must admit this,exhausted.Not physically,mentally.
My eyelids are about half shutting my eye.Ok,im a big liar.lols.
So,Monday comes my first day in my clinical posting attachement.
I don't care about the friends i will make,i am most worried if i am going to treat "my patients" right.I don't want to hurt them or vice versa.You know,i get all psyched up when my anxiety strikes.I'll freak!I will be all high-strung,fucking clumsy and i'll apologize gabazillion of times.
I don't want to be pissing anyone off.
And to make things worst,I WILL BE GRADED.
Sweet Gaaawwd.If you're listening,i'll send a smoke signal and ask for some "HELP" to calm my nerves.
I need to get this right.I need to be alright.I need to graduate from this fucking school,and educate myself even more.I want to be go abroad.I want to get away from everything and everyone else.I want to start anew.I still will be me,but i want to move!
I got to do this.I should do my best.I need to strive.
Ok,chill.Woah.
so,there you go.you heard me.i've made my own plans for myself.but firstly,i need to do something about my savings.i need to get a fucking bank account,get more odd jobs.stop being a lazy motherfucka.start excercising to get a normal metabolic rate so i don't stuff my face with food and be an average weighing teenage.start being more realistic.be more serious.less paying around and fucking focus already!
I am so tired.Why is it now?I am pressured.
I may not show it.I don't know how to.
im going to go now.
bye.
love,appreciate!
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