However,i'm not giving up just yet.I'm going to ask from Pops and Mom for some dosh and you guys got to help me pray that i do get some.
Its for old friend's sake this time.haha.
Well,days go by now,the now told revealed secret has only start to burn..
I can't think properly,i count the hours which ticks me by and i only just realize that it had all been a mistake.
I don't feel like living anymore.But i don't want to die either.
Just a few days i told myself to be optimistic because one of my many dreams had come true and that all i had to do now was wait some more to get away from here.
But waiting has withered my energy of trying to withstand the verbal abuse.I'm scare i might be too vulnerable to talk to anyone about it,i don't want to crumble and fall.
I also realize how immature,annoying,irritating and stupid i have been acting to all my friends all the while.I need to apologize but i don't know where to begin.Maybe here?
Well,guys,the people i know and who i can call friend,if you're reading my post,please forgive me for all my negative traits and that i've not been treating some of you right.I might repeat my mistake and i need you to tell me off you feel there is a need to.Don't hold back on your feelings about me,and if you must,write a post on your own blog on things you want me to change,just to be a better person,a better Ili.
The time to change is now i guess.
Ruo Yu left today and that remains here,what she had left behind is memories and her black hair scrunchy.I didn't cry but my heart was breaking when i hugged her goodbye.I know she is coming back but its a long time even though its in a few months time.
I don't know where my mind is.I wander from different places to another.One minute i'm in a field of great smelling flowers and another,i'm in some kind on dungeon with putrid smell.
i don't knwo why i'm like this.its not PMS,i would know if it is.
Lighten me up,by myself is the only way i know and should go i suppose.
it has broken to so many pieces already,my hopes is still where it is since the day i know i want you to be the one i smile and laugh with,i hit and fight with and i kiss and make up with.
i just wish you would know what i am,who i am and why i am so smitten to you.
but you will never know..
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