First and for most,I am beyond words kind of ecstatic cause;
I,Ili Ezmira ,am going to 'The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's concert this coming Tuesday,the 10th.
I went to get the ticket with Farah J at Downtown and i am still stunned that i really did bought it.
The next best thing is,MY BLOODY BELOVED COUSIN NANA J is coming along too and i am not going there alone anymore.
OMG OMG OMG OMG.
hahaha.God is really making me love life at the moment.
With the all happy mode that i am in,i would like to wish one of my captain in suntec a
Happy Birthday to Ken! *coughs coughs to Hui Yin*.lols.
He's turned 27 today so,congrats man,you're getting older.
Anyways,i was saying..the mixed emotion part..
haha.
Well,happiness aside,i am honestly,deeply,seriously hurt,battered and wounded.
lol.
David said he might not get online as much cause he sees no point of doing so anymore.He don't realize how much of an insult that is to me cause i'm practically living inside his computer.lol.He said we might end up writing to one another every month but i said i wouldn't bet on it cause i know what kind of person he is and i am actually am kind of waiting for his letter which he said he would write but bloody hell,he didn't.Besides,i don't want his ex gf to be in a stupid argument with him if i do write to him,like the book i read called 'Where Rainbows End'.I was imagining that his ex gf,or gf to be,would read what i wrote to him in the letter and it won't ever get to David,with the 'loves' word i wrote and that she comes e-mailing me or writing back to ask me to back off and sorts.Of course i didn't tell him about it cause i don't want it to sound weird for him.You know what i mean?
Anyways,he felt like i don't fully know him as much as i should but to me,i know him enough to lay all the nouns i can on the table to describe him.But one word describes him most;wonderful.
Thats him.Wonderful,David. :)
He's going to spend the day out with his ex Gf in a couple of days and my fingers are crossed for him,hope it all goes well.
Well,these couple of days,my heart is not in a good shape,it never has been since a long time ago but its getting worst.
My insides are crushed,emotionally,i'm struggling to get through the day without withdrawals cause of the moments i spent apart from Mister dear whoever..
I'm glad he's getting a gist of reality with the presence of someone who might mean something to him,soon he won't need me anymore..
And i won't ever get to tell him how i feel,ever!
unless of course..miraculously,he hit his head and forgot who i was to him and i would gladly lie i am his wife and we live happily ever after..yada yada..
Bloody hell,i never thought it would be this hard in heart breaks and heart aches.
It was not this bad when things was over between me and that motha licka,Seb.
Oh well,only God knows how this really feels.
I should start being happy again,i mean come on,on Tuesday,one of my many big dreams is coming to life!
I'm going to meet the band i have promised myself to watch when they come over since three years ago and now,i have the chance to!
So yer,
to happiness for me.
Amen.
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