Yesterday evening i went out with Monty(again,yes.)haha.
We went to a couple of places before going to the desired destination,Tampines Mall Pasar Malam.haha.And after buying the all-time-famous TakoYaki balls,we separate ways and i was home at about 9+.
Than today,she asked me if i could accompany her to Teah's family gathering to recite the prayers for his dearly,departed beloved one.Its not that i don't want to come but i have no relations with him and his family and that my presence there would be totally inferior so to my Monty,Thousands of Apologies. :D
Well anyways..
It has been almost a week and i was doing fine,moving on(trying to at least) until yesterday.
Haha.
Its not a bad thing but my effort to withdraw myself from going all over the places with my emotions for him was put to a halt again.Haha and yes,i still have feelings for him.
Like gabazillion truckloads full of love for him.haha.
He has proven to be the one(only one for now) who is capable of making me fall in love over the same person again,and again despite the many heart breaks which was caused along the way.lol.
Anyways,we a conversation yesterday.He said he was through with life(again).
I gave him options on ways to die but he chose none and said he'd wait for 2012(the rumored End Of The World Year) instead.He asked me to help him out with killing him so that he don't have to do it alone and of course,for shizzle i refused big-time.lols.
Theres so much to live for.He just needs to explore and sometimes i wish i can be there to help him get through each day without being cranky and mean to himself and the people who loves him.(Me included.haha)
And than we talked about a song which we both like and its called "what hurts the most" and there was a part when the girl asked "what do you see?" which is my FAVORITE PART and back in the many conversations we had he asked me the same exact word for word thing and that was how i introduced him to the song.lols.
Anyways,so the lyrics goes like
"what hurts the most,was being so close,and having so much to say and watching you walk away,and never knowing,what could have been,and not saying that loving you is what i was trying to do.."
right..let me quote what he said after that;
"kinda like you..not telling your feelings" and i was so stunned i thought he knew about my secret undying love(NOT!!)haha. for him.haha.but than he said he was joking and i'm like "oh god what a scare" to myself but for the whole night when we were both listening to the song,he kept on giving me this weird vibe that somehow,he actually do feel the same as me.
Its just that,both of us is gutless to blurt it out,to ruin the friendship we(ok fine,rather,me) have tried to built.
Call me a wishful thinker but theres no wrong in hoping right?
He said he might come around to stay and that i have promised him a 100 bucks worth of good time.lols.
I hope he will come and maybe then,i'll be brave enough to let it all out to him.When i can finally see,hear,touch,breathe and hopefully taste him.haha.
And throughout the conversation we had last night,i was actually struggling to keep awake with the reason "i miss talking to you" but i ditched him at about 4:30 in the morning anyway.haha.
Hrmmn,i still think i need to keep my distance from him..
School is starting;i'm pre-assuming i'll be dead busy and too tired to get online at night and i don't want to miss him too much that it hurts.lols.
P.s:Message to my Dear-Mister-Whoever..
Oh well,i'm just glad we're as good as before and babe,
you look gorgeous then,hotter now and sexier later!haha.
I love you sweety..
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