a little mellow for the weak

I feel strange,i feel down,i feel just plain weird.I was out with Sammie earlier and i told her i think i need someone but i couldn't get over the fact about that commitment part.Sammie is having her own personal problem and i feel for her but i can't do much but to tell her to take things slow.Good things fall apart so better things can be in place,to replace the good ones.So,my heart goes out to you dear Sammie. she also suddenly asked me if i ever missed Sebastian..the answer is,honestly,yes.but i have moved on from that miserable feeling.it was hard at first but it just get better as i got the hang of living life paralell to him.we just weren't made for each other and we were a mistake from start.he wanted it to be over and i can't make it any better for him and i make myself believe that God has better plans for me.however,it did make my better self at its low for a few weeks-months but i'm better now.(friends just don't know that.)
While i was sitting on the bench with Sammie,i flipped out my writing pad and magic markers;i started writing random stuffs on the piece of paper to David and that will be the first letter i'm mailing to him.I'll go to the post office tomorrow and ask if the letter can get mailed before Christmas,i want it to be his Christmas present,a letter from me.
So,lets go back to the feelings i have.Its been days,my spirit's been down and i can't figure out why.Its the constant tug on the pit of my stomach and the frequent thud on my heart.Like someone is is calling out my name but its too far to really hear what they really are saying.Like reaching out for a chocolate bar on the highest shelf when you're just about 3 years old.the feeling of disappointed-ness and neglect.And friends,some of you who got my message,please don't think of the text as a suicidal note from me.It was genuine text to remind you guys that no matter how far we're drifting from one another,i will still regard each of you as a friend 10 years down the road.
Anyways,its been a day only since i last heard from you but i'm already feeling restless.was it what i said?what i did wrong?what i didn't do?i just miss you,so much it kind of hurt a little.but i guess this feeling will past,like the years i had in my secondary school,the time,it just flew.I have a song for you my dear,its called better together and if one day you come upon my blog and read,and you know that i'm talking about you,i miss you;yesterday and today.you are strange but i like you like that,but i'm not too sure about what i'm feeling so lets keep it this way.pretend i'm kissing your cheeks now,i love you..