I am staying up waiting for my boyfriend to give me a call.Probably on his way home,probably he doesn't give a fuck but hey,whatever.haha. He has spent a week with me before he went back to his old work place,and during which,he brought me along with him and introduced me to everyone he's worked with. It was a nice exposure,cause finally,I get to see his friends.Most of them anyway. Than finally got to have a proper sit-down and have a conversation moment with his mom. Bahahaha,you wouldn't imagine how my nerves wobbled.I always have a panic attack when I have to go over to his place and bond with his family.I personally don't mind,but I am naturally awkward being in the position whereby its my first time dating-being in a serious relationship with someone and I will just shut the fuck up unless being asked a question. Oh well,that aside,I am currently doing fine and I have gained probably 100 over kilos since graduation.I have been going out almost every other day,hanging out and just kept the cigarettes at bay all the time. But it won't be long now till I start work at the hospital. Full-time,I don't believe myself.haha. I told myself to take a break and here I am in this position whereby I am going to get paid on every 25th with unknown allowances and being fucking tired almost every other day cause of work. Which would also mean,lesser time with my family,friends and boyfriend. I have to actually convince myself that it is time to actually work and give the dough to my parents in exchange of being brought up by them for almost 20 good years yet still feeling like I'm always being left out at home.I don't care so much about the 'being left out at home' part,its just that I have friends with either great family support or in a really messed up situation but I am in neither position.I have all the necessities and I don't know when is the right time to ask for more than just enough.It is just not my nature even though I crave the feeling of being whole,as a family.And I don't have any idea what I'm talking about,so just screw it. An on impulse moment. So at 01:36,my boyfriend just gave me a call.He's home,awwwwh. hahahaha. Whatever,so I was saying I'm going to get employed real soon and I am looking forward to it and I am going to give all I have in my power and dedicate my life and time for my job. I don't exactly hate what I'm doing but its the people that makes working life difficult sometimes. I was in a position whereby my eyes witness all kinds of human behaviour and I truly appreciate the moments God has given me cause it has made me more aware,in a sense. And besides,I have one ultimate goal at the end of the day,or make it two. I want to have a personal revolution where in both worlds;the now and the after, I have somewhere and something to fall back on. That is all that I have in mind. Ok,before I type out any more nonsensical rants,I better go off and do some Internet surfing while waiting for my boyfriend to call me up again to tell me how his day went. Take care all. Love,appreciate. P.s: How long is forever when sometimes its cut short for some?
Monday, April 18, 2011
Whats your story?
I am staying up waiting for my boyfriend to give me a call.Probably on his way home,probably he doesn't give a fuck but hey,whatever.haha. He has spent a week with me before he went back to his old work place,and during which,he brought me along with him and introduced me to everyone he's worked with. It was a nice exposure,cause finally,I get to see his friends.Most of them anyway. Than finally got to have a proper sit-down and have a conversation moment with his mom. Bahahaha,you wouldn't imagine how my nerves wobbled.I always have a panic attack when I have to go over to his place and bond with his family.I personally don't mind,but I am naturally awkward being in the position whereby its my first time dating-being in a serious relationship with someone and I will just shut the fuck up unless being asked a question. Oh well,that aside,I am currently doing fine and I have gained probably 100 over kilos since graduation.I have been going out almost every other day,hanging out and just kept the cigarettes at bay all the time. But it won't be long now till I start work at the hospital. Full-time,I don't believe myself.haha. I told myself to take a break and here I am in this position whereby I am going to get paid on every 25th with unknown allowances and being fucking tired almost every other day cause of work. Which would also mean,lesser time with my family,friends and boyfriend. I have to actually convince myself that it is time to actually work and give the dough to my parents in exchange of being brought up by them for almost 20 good years yet still feeling like I'm always being left out at home.I don't care so much about the 'being left out at home' part,its just that I have friends with either great family support or in a really messed up situation but I am in neither position.I have all the necessities and I don't know when is the right time to ask for more than just enough.It is just not my nature even though I crave the feeling of being whole,as a family.And I don't have any idea what I'm talking about,so just screw it. An on impulse moment. So at 01:36,my boyfriend just gave me a call.He's home,awwwwh. hahahaha. Whatever,so I was saying I'm going to get employed real soon and I am looking forward to it and I am going to give all I have in my power and dedicate my life and time for my job. I don't exactly hate what I'm doing but its the people that makes working life difficult sometimes. I was in a position whereby my eyes witness all kinds of human behaviour and I truly appreciate the moments God has given me cause it has made me more aware,in a sense. And besides,I have one ultimate goal at the end of the day,or make it two. I want to have a personal revolution where in both worlds;the now and the after, I have somewhere and something to fall back on. That is all that I have in mind. Ok,before I type out any more nonsensical rants,I better go off and do some Internet surfing while waiting for my boyfriend to call me up again to tell me how his day went. Take care all. Love,appreciate. P.s: How long is forever when sometimes its cut short for some?
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