voice of the gullet

I wish i could vent vent vent and vent some more.
I wish i could tell someone something that meant the world to me and not be laughed at.
I wish i could read minds to repair the broken.
I wish i could tell someone how much hurt i had to go through before becoming me today.
I wish i could be a little less emotional and sensitive.(i'm working extremely hard for this)
I wish i could disappear and evaporate in air so that everybody in this world can have a little bit of me to remind them of.
I wish i could die happily instead of worrying.
I wish i could start life again.
Sometimes i wish my parents would marry me off to some rich ass Arabian and than i love my Arabian husband unconditionally.Than we can go on a cruise to Mexico to watch the Mariachi bands perform all day,we will walk on the beautiful beaches,whispering sweet nothings and than make sweet love in the hotel room between the warm bed sheets.The morning after;there will be breakfast in bed;bagels,eggs and coffee.And than we have a cute little baby boy called fuckthisshit.
There i go again,dreaming..
I don't want this time to fly by me like air.I want to spend everyday with full of content,hoping to wake up for each morning's sunrise from the East.
I need to meet someone who is going to change me inside out.I don't want to be a saint nor a swinger,i want to be in the middle.
Oh well.Life,i got to get over it.
I'm just glad i get the chance to live.
-cheers-