Nothing lasts at two.

I was out the whole day yesterday(Saturday,May 1st).
I was out with a few of them from my Geron project group members to do a couple of slides for the presentation part.
After about half an hour or maybe a little more we wrapped it up.I don't find the environment conducive enough and besides,certain information was missing.My head wasn't where it was suppose to be,that afternoon.
Than had bruncner(breakfast-lunch-dinner) with Mari and Zee before meeting up with Sunny.Initially,the plan was to go shop for some clothes for myself but,I ended up being mood -ess to shop.
I went to spotlight at Plaza Sing with Sunny and got myself a mood ring.Finally.
That bit made me a little happier.
I was on my way home today and I got a text with "bby.." in it and my heart fell apart.
I was listening to "linger" on my music player and my heart was in pieces.
I was taken aback,I was revisiting down memory lane and looked for the right face and I saw Seb.Both situation reflected him.My knees wobbled in the MRT,my eyes started to twitch,itching to cry.But I hold on to my composure well enough and told myself "Its ok.Its over." and made it home not affected.
Though right now,I wish someone genuine would come over and let me cry,cry and cry.
Someone who I am not doubtful of.Someone who would hug me long enough until the hurt starts to numb.
I keep telling myself I will be ok for anything at all,that I am going to survive any blows.
But who am I kidding?

The song "love is blind" by Ramzi is in my system for now.It makes me calm,it makes me sad,it makes me mad listening to this song.I don't know why.
I am God's example of the perfectly flawed.I didn't request to be the way I am today.
No,I'm not blaming God either.
I truly accept the fact that I look the way I am now,today.But I can't go through a day without thinking of what I lack and ways on how to improve myself.I am different.
I don't know how to change that.
Anyways,living unnoticed is not bad at all,but it is far from good.
I had a notion this evening,will my loved ones feel the loss if I somehow disappear,will they miss me.Will they ever know how I felt this whole time.
It scared the shit out of me.Cause of all the things that worry me in my life,I fear that nobody would even remember me,what more,my name,when I'm not around anymore.
I want there to be lots of prayers for me.I have sinned this whole lifetime.I need back-up.
Ah well,I'm going for a swim tomorrow.I hope this time,I'm really going.
Farah,Nad,don't build my hopes up and let me down at the last minute.You guys are famous for that.
So till then,for tomorrow,I wish for the good,the best,the greatest.
Take care earthlings.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:You remind me so much of the semi erased past.