It was something I had planned for myself a long time ago,way before nursing was the next big decision.I told my mom about it and she accused my state of mind for not being rational.
I am dumbfounded.
Nana's opinion was positive,and I don't know whats even right anymore.
All I want now is a fagging good time and a time to surf the beautiful beaches of Australia and perhaps,Bali.
I can only imagine.
I just started the brand new semester and already I'm thinking of vacation.
Astaghfirullah.
Oh well,whatever my decision is,I'm sure its for my best.If I stay in nursing for school,I doubt my spirits would ever be the same again for it.I still want to save lives sure,but theres always the "but" feeling.
I feel pretty dead down at the moment.I just came back home,I greeted my mom and lock myself in this room.I just told Sahar to leave me alone,for good.I am listening to the mellow song of "deeper conversation" and my mind is practically crying.Bahaha. :/
At this moment I feel like disappearing,or getting lost swimming at the sea(with a life vest on cause I can't really swim).
My mind is like a swarm of bees.Buzzing at nothing in particular trying to make honey,trying to make something productive out of my listless life.
I am probably the most loser person I know.What else do I have to lose except time,is what I worry most.People come and go,its the fact of life and therefore,doing what I want most would make me a happy person despite losing friends and maybe,family.
It is the most ironic feeling I have felt in months and its causing giddy spells and nauseousness.I don't feel like going to school tomorrow.But I am not given the liberty of making an excuse of being unwell to absent myself.
I hope I will be ok.It has to be ok.
And rest in peace Achik.-Another reason why I am having an extreme debate going on in my head.
Take care all.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:"If you don't mind can you tell me all your hopes and dreams?"
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