swingless

It has been a good week.
I've chosen what was priority what was not.I am not getting along with my lecturer.
I don't care if she even hates me.As long as I know I'm treating my patients correctly and I'm doing a good job at it.
The year two NYP students had their last day today.
And I'm half glad and upset about their departure.lol.
But the year three NYP are sticking on as long as the rest of us,which is way awesome.
Well,I'm going to have a four day long break and I am looking forward to it,
I just wish I am back in campus now-I miss ripping my brain cells off for answers to non-simplified nursing questions.
Well,pressing on.
A couple more weeks to the end of ward attachment,a couple more weeks for two weeks in campus-theory based learning and a couple more weeks to a long deserving holiday.

So,days ago,I woke up and immediately re-read all the text messages you used to send to me.Which was practically every fucking morning with words which kept me going through a hard day's in school.I read and read until my eyes became sore.What was I thinking?
My eyes started to sting,from salty tears obviously but nothing fell.Not even a drop.
I figured I was too sober about the situation when truth is,you still mean the fucking world to me.But I don't even know where you stand in my life.Where I want you to be.
I still have our pictures.At times,I'm so tempted to burn them away,or cut them into pieces.But I know I'll regret it cause thats the only memory I can relate to vividly.
You are still a part of me.Somehow.As much as I want you to perish.
And than I tell myself,which gave me a little hope,a little faith that maybe,deep inside,I was the best you've ever had.I knew most about you within weeks of becoming friends,I knew a lot more when we took a step further.
And after we were through,when we met again after a year,you still gave me that spine chilling stare and its amazing how you still remember the things I used to do,the stuff I use to say.
I am clueless why I am even writing a whole paragraph about you again.
I still miss you.Badly.I am still waiting for you to call me up and say "Hun,I'm coming back!"
And things fall back into place,even though for a little while. .

Ah well,
the most important thing is to grasp what is within reach,even though the outcome may not be as pleasant.At least we try.
So with a lot more hope,faith and enthusiasm,I'll live day by day in hopes that my scruffy guy in plastic armour will come around on a bmx bike and say "I've noticed you for quite a while,but you never see me.And I'm talking to you in hopes that maybe you'd like to chat for a bit?"
haha.I like my imagination.
Keeps me going most times.lol.

Cheers bitches.
Love,Appreciate!
P.s:Whenever you're ready.