I was present,but absent in the eyes of homosapiens all around me.
Wordless i was.
Yet,i breathed today.
I told myself not to hold my breath to stop this fucking pain.
My guts spilled out in the afternoon.
Took a couple of pills,felt better.
It stopped the pain momentarily.
I didn't talk much,it was painful to watch and speak.
So i shut up.
I walked the path i was supposed to,get my ass to where i was expected to be and tried to
convince them i was dandy.
i was,really.
After a while,towards the end of the day,i spoke again.
I think i was fine until i bus rided my way home.
Leaving me confussled,i gazed to nothingness.
Its better this way i think(?).
But,i will force and tell myself to pretend that things will be ok.
Eventually.
It will,why won't it,right?
I've ran out of pills though.
I'm tight on fucking cash,somebody please get me some dosh.
I need it for school,i need it bad.
School,sighs.
Though sometimes i wouldn't think twice about quitting anyway.
Lessen the blow of people around me,general view.
So they can stop asking if I'm alright.
So they can live their fucking lives.
So they can fucking leave me the hell alone.
So they can stop fucking pushing me around.
So they can stop fucking demoralizing me.
So they can do whatever the hell i want and not care what i fucking think.
Never mattered anyway don't it.
I thought the ordeal was over.
Eh,i was wrong.
Its a new chapter of down-hillism for this season.
I see him more and more now.A mental picture growing so vivid in my mind's eyes.
If this is it,why not now?
Save me the trouble of trying to survive anyway.
Ah shieet.I will be ok.
Love,Appreciate!
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