why?

yesterday i went to work.
Monty stood me up but i met up with Hui Yin anyway.
work yesterday was bull shit.
Hui Yin was always ditching me,talking to Chiu Hua.haha.
but in the midst of feeling annoyed,aggravated and left out,
some Myanmar guy made me feel better.haha.and he was the one who accidentally,physically assaulted me in the dark like a month ago.
i don't blame him,infact,i laughed at him.haha xD
he looked so sorry and paranoid.soo cute.lol.
what he did to make me feel a little better?
well,the water pitcher was emptied,there were like 3 pitchers which was empty and we didn't have much to begin with.i wanted to go to the bar to refill them up and i don't know where he came from but he suddenly stood in front of me and said "what you want?i help you."
hahaha.and i'm like "what?!" in an accidental snobbish kind of way and shook my head than left quickly with a full pitcher i stole from my work mates.haha.everytime i carry a tray loaded with dirtied plates and shits,he looks my way as though he's afraid i might drop them.haha.sweet right?haha.lol.
than thats about it.lol.
Well,after which,i came home,got something to eat and with my 'work attire' still not off,i sat in front of the computer talking the night away to Edd and David.
apparently,David still has the hots for his ex girlfriend who was super bloody beautiful but knocked up.haha.
but anyways,i just had a mis-understanding going on and he's apparently not going to forgive me and possibly,stop talking to me in a whole.
:(
i am upset,i apologized but he still went off anyway.
what the fuck right?want to know what happened?
because he said something about buying some 'adult' book and i said something snarky like "cause you couldn't find a girl" which was more of a harmless statement and yet he thought what i said was mean.i didn't mean for it to come out as a "haha,you're a loser you can't find a gf" kind of way,but more like "you couldn't find a girl cause you're too negative" kind of way.
ah screw it.
life has been miserable lately.
there is something wrong with me,physically.
my chest is constantly in pain,i cough and my brains starts to shake vigorously and when i squint my eyes,the nerves around it tightens.
i want to die anyway,but not now at least. :(
P.S;CT AMIRAH,STAY STRONG.I LOVE YOU.