Its been months now,the feelings stays the same.
I read books,i watch a movie,i see pictures and everything else i do,i link them to you.
Its retardation on my part cause you have yet to know.
I can't let you know,i don't have the guts,it kills me a little each day..
I whisper your name to myself,my heart winces,my eyes starts to well and little by little,the tears fall like rivers.
I have eliminated you from my everyday life,i moved on but i never fail to look back no matter how hard i stop myself..I still see you..
Many occasions i felt you trying to tell me something,but denial take control and i belittle myself.
I was afraid,terrified,i'm such a loser.
I meant it every time i say those 3 words to you..
But i never know the story on your part.
Can there really be a closure to you?My by far,the best chapter in my life..
I looked through your imperfections with pure sincerity,cause i never felt to love like this before.
This time,i think i'm sure,i want to take risks with you but ruining everything we had now will be painful,and i will definitely fall apart.
I want to share my life with you,tell you all my secrets and make memories with you;
but i have no power to even say it to your face "I think it is you.." ..
I have years to live,its true,but i don't think it would be the same without you.
The hardest part is not the distance,the hardest part is not having anything to talk about,
but its about two different people trying to accept one another regardless what other people want to say.
I'm helpless and i struggle to overcome my ecstatic-ness when i see your name.
Dear God,please give me the courage to tell this possible love of my life that he is the one i know i can share a breath or two with..
Please make him not hate me when the truth spills out..
What comes after,i leave it to you,God,to make everything else fall into place.
With love..
P.s:Don't assume i meant it word for word,it maybe fictional on my part.
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